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[19 Dec 2008|12:56am] |
ya ok fine.
yay so im leaving in about 8 hours to go home. super excited. except im flying out of bwi which is a pain cuz i have to take the metro then an hourlong train ride to get there. whatevs though. it'll give me time to listen to music n read. im still packing kindve. im trying to find away to get all my stuff in my suitcase since i hate dealing with carry'ons with security. so im sitting here doing that and eating cheezits and listening to christmas music. past couple weeks have been super stressful. 4 papers and 4 finals in two weeks. its over now though. hooray. pretty excited for vacation. i just want to sit in my living room with a fire going and snow outside. but i'll probably have to work a good deal. grr. got a nice sweater from the gf for xmas. its pretty sweat. and warm. blah ok idk what else to talk about. gnight
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[23 Nov 2008|12:42pm] |
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lol. finally.
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[13 Aug 2008|01:03am] |
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really?
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[08 Apr 2008|09:55pm] |
  
!!!
$10
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[19 Nov 2007|01:53am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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i kindve hope i dont end up repeating this weekend too often. even though it was very fun. some interesting firsts. and really late nights. i cant wait to be going home. i know im prolly gonna end up getting annoyed with my parents but whatever. i just want to hang out with friends. and drive. and go to a parish. it'll be nice. we're doing a secret santa with kids here. and i was hoping i would end up with someone i could just give a really obnoxious gift too. but turns out i got someone who i'll actually have to think of a good present. maybe thats a good thing though. that i'll actually put a lot effort into it. my relationships with kids here are weird. ive realized that i feel weird calling them my friends. i just say like the kids i hang out with or my roommates or the kids on my hall. and im not sure thats gonna change a lot. there are a couple (mostly girls) that im closer to, but idk. it still feels strange. i tend to get annoyed with some of the kids here a lot. and just concentrate on things i dont like about them for some reason. ugh idk maybe things will change. and i really need more motivation to work harder. im slacking way too much. this cant be highschool again. it just cant. i really do like it here though. and im glad i made this decision. unlike a lot of people. a bunch of people i know here have thought about transferring. i dont really understand why. they might have actual reasons, but it seems like they just dont like the discomfort of being in a new place with new people and think that discomfort will go away if theyre somewhere else. as usual girls are confusing. i cant tell if i like people or not. i think i think way too much about it. i shouldnt analyze people so much. ok done for now.
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[25 Sep 2007|09:35pm] |
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i cant stop thinking about her, about what we had, even if it wasnt much. I dont even know if its for the right reasons, but my thoughts always tend to stray to her. This is college. This is a new chapter. We knew it would end. but why cant I let go?
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[24 Aug 2007|07:49pm] |
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=) this is nice.
ps:
I had a baby named Jane
she could shake that thing
said her daddy used to hang with Johnny Coltrane
she sang the soul train with a friend named Jen
her booty was bigger than a Mercedes Benz
Jen was a hurty burty dirty little girlie
I heard it from a birdie she could cook a mean turkey
with gravy
Baby Baby Baby...
Baby was Jen's best friend
and maybe if you were lucky
licky licky sucky sucky
Mickey Mickey, fuck me fuck me
more junk in her trunk than a Honda
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda
One, two, three, four
get your booty on the dance floor
work it out, shake it little momma
lemme see you do the Jane Fonda
five, six, seven, now
if you don't know, let me show you how
to work it out, work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda
I had a princess, queen of incest
she was inbred but Jean had big breasts
and big eyes and a big ass to match
Jean wasn't fast, she was easy to catch
then came Molly
a hood from Hollywood High
so fly she was transatlantic
she was a manic depressive
[manic depressive]
which was impressive
very impressive
I had to test it
tasted like chicken and was lemon scented
she took me home to her mama
I taught 'em both how to Jane Fonda
One, two, three, four
get your booty on the dance floor
work it out, shake it little momma
lemme see you do the Jane Fonda
five, six, seven, now
if you don't know, let me show you how
to work it out, work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda
I had a doll named Dana from Santa Ana
she was a waitress at the Copa Cabanna
she was slammin' and her ass was jammin'
like Janet Jackson in the Rhythm Nation
her brother jason had a girl named Grace
and you could see her ass from outer space
so I landed on her planet
and I planted a Mickey Av flag in it, dammit!
One, two, three, four
get your booty on the dance floor
work it out, shake it little momma
lemme see you do the Jane Fonda
five, six, seven, now
if you don't know, let me show you how
to work it out, work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda
One, two, three, four
get your booty on the dance floor
work it out, shake it little momma
lemme see you do the Jane Fonda
five, six, seven, now
if you don't know, let me show you how
to work it out, work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda
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[31 May 2007|11:01pm] |
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I'm ready.
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[06 May 2007|12:38am] |
i want different.
i want new.
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[29 Apr 2007|05:40pm] |
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"i dont know." story of my life. this is getting annoying. i dont understand girls. i dont understand her. why cant she just know. why cant she decide. a yes would be nice. a no would even be fine. but its this i dont know that kills me. why doesnt she know? how doesnt she know? does she just not want to hurt me? if so this is much more painful. i hate this so much. i just want someone to be with and this i dont know keeps me stuck on her, yet seperate from her. there goes next weekend.
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[15 Jan 2007|11:15am] |
"When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws. Only catapults."
"I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.'"
"I like parties, but I don’t like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there’s a donkey with some pizzazz. Let’s kick its ass. What I’m trying to say is, don’t make the same Halloween costume mistake that I did."
"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
"A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he’s persuasive. ‘Dude make a left.’ ‘Those are trees…’ ‘Trust me.’"
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[07 Jan 2007|10:54pm] |
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music |
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regina spektor - on the radio |
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sometimes i feel like there are two of me. one is fun. he doesnt care about anything. he just has a good time. the other is the opposite. he's serious. he worries...i think the latter is winning. i need to stay busy. i cant be bored like this. when im bored i think. i dont want to think. things used to be so much fun with friends. sure we still have a good time. but everytime we go out no one knows what to do. no one wants to do anything in particular. and the only things we can think arent that great. i want to feel the other me.
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| :D |
[08 Dec 2006|07:12pm] |
really happy. for the first time in a while
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| tired and cold |
[29 Oct 2006|10:13pm] |
its about 55 degrees in here. i dont understand why my house feels the need to be so cold all the time. no wonder im always sick. i kept 3 lights on and my door closed to my room all day just so it would stay around 70 in there. im too tired. it fells like 11, right? i dont think i really even danced that much last night. dance was alright. idk. there werent that many kids there. i think i like dances with everyone better. i should be doing homework right now. but i think french absolutism and louis xiv can wait a bit. im not doing great in school right now. definately not as good as i was in september. idk maybe i just need to study more. or actually participate in class. college apps are done for the most part, which is very good. i dont think they had the same effect on me as they do on most ppl, probs since i did all the essays over the summer. i finally got a graphing calc today. i love craigslist. its nothing fancy, and the keys stick a little, but it does what i need it to do. i dont mind sophocles as much as i thought i would. ive never really read greek lit before (at least i dont think i have). oedipus was pretty good (the movie amazing) and antigone too. i feel...blah. maybe its the cold and bleakness. isnt winter supposed to do that to you? cept its not winter. its not even november yet. and it was sunny today. so idk. just fell lonely i guess. not really connected to anyone. like sure i have friends, but i dont care to have real conversations right now. i still need to write your letter, becky, and i will, soon. its been so long since ive had a real crush. i dont know why tho. maybe i need to meet new people. but i dont really know how. or if that will help at all.
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[03 Sep 2006|12:15am] |
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i dont really know whats goin on right now. ive been frustrated the last few days. sometimes for good reasons, sometimes not. idk. maybe its just going back to school thats annoyed me. waking up at 6:00 and starting this same old routine that goes on every year. im sick of it, the more i think about it. sure this is senior year. big man now, right? last year of highschool. except it doesnt feel any different. my teachers are already annoying me. most of my classes are awkward, with only a few that i have friends in. i have 4 ap classes, a calc class that wont be easy, and a graphic design teacher who's ready to kick me out cuz i didnt do image editting. i really hope school gets better. all this college talk isnt very fun either. have to see all the exseniors go away to school. have to plan out where i want to spend the next 4 years of my life. i dont want to go to college. i dont want to be senior. i dont want to grow up. people confuse me. girls especially. i think i see attraction, but then other things tell me not. i dont know. i need more days like today. more days with friends. more days of finding something to eat at shaws, but not knowing what ahead of time. people always go to grocery stores with a list. they know what they need to get, and they get it. why not go in empty handed? why not get what u want to get? get what looks tasty, what catches your eye. i need more days of buying 8" metal rings at joanne fabrics with pennies just to play ring toss in the parking lot. i need more Mario Strikers. i hope i survive this year. i hope this year isnt like all the others. i hope i actually do well in school. for once. and not be stupid. goodnight.
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[13 Aug 2006|11:32pm] |
  
  
  
its so cold outside. im not sure its supposed to be this cold in the beginning of august. it makes it feel like school time which is not something i want to be reminded of. i still have so much work to do. ahhh. and ive been starting college essays, which will definately help me when i wont have to do them during the school year. these past few weeks havent been extremely eventful. mainly filled with school or college work during the day then hanging out at night. we saw DaBrat last night tho. and Natalie. whoever that is. and we went to wakefield tonight. for no real reason. random stuff like that. so i dont work at the ups store anymore. my boss called me the morning i was supposed to work and told me he closed the store cuz he was goin bankrupt. im workin at my dads one day a week tho for pretty damn good pay. i like when my parents go away. i think they need to do it more often. they went to maine all yesterday. and are going to nh next weekend. its so much calmer when im the only one here. no stress. i need a biddie. any takers?
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[14 Jul 2006|12:14am] |
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wow. i havent updated since before school ended. so much has happened since then. i had a few days of actual summer after school ended. i always love that feeling. of waking up at like 10 or 11 the day after the last day and no ones in the house and u just know its summer. then i went down to dc. stayed with my uncle and aunt for a night. theyre really old. and my aunt thinks my uncle is partially deaf, but i just think he ignores her. we went to a polka concert. cuz apparently thats all they have in northern virginia. i was the only one there between the ages of 4 and 60. pretty retarded. but w/e. then saturday i hung with my sister who's living down there. we went to a barbecue for her work with like her 50 year old boss lady who's really intense at volleyball. then gylc started. its basically a conference where u gotta dress up everyday for 2 weeks and discuss world events and simulations from kids from different countries. that was amazing. a definate defining point in my life thus far. met kids from australia, from pakistan, from england, from all over the world. everyone was friendly and really open and it was just an amazing time. and now im at Brown U for a course in global engagement for 2 weeks. a lot different. this ones much more informal, they actually give u free time, and a lot of it is leadership and like communication skills rather than straight international knowledge. the last couple nights we've gotten pretty close. every once in a while we do activities where we split off into small groups and have discussions about our pasts and about discrimination and stuff, and we've learned alot about eachother. and then there are two kids in our dorm who live in lebanon, and im half lebanese along with 1 or two other kids here, and if uve been watching the news at all, you know whats going on. we watched cnn for like 2 hours last night. and we've been discussing it a lot, and its just these times when u really hope that diplomacy actually works. that conflicts can be solved without shelling another nation. i just really hope this doesnt escalate and spread as it seems so likely to. i'll be home next friday. hopefully some actual summer time for me. then i gotta start doing college apps and writing my essays and doing all of the shitty hw teachers gave for ap classes. ugh. might as well enjoy the peace while it lasts.
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[31 May 2006|08:49pm] |
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so ive kindve realized that US History class is pretty much How Many Ways Can I Come Up With For You To Absolutely Hate America class. we're going over vietnam right now. and i mentioned it to my parents. and all my parents talked about for 10 minutes were the horrible things that happened to us soldiers and america. i mean i know thats what they live through, and thats all they saw, but do the 2 mil (40x the # of dead americans) dead vietnamese not mean anything? do the 300,000 (5x the # of dead americans) cambodians and laotions who lived in seperate countries and who had little if nothing to do with the war and who died not matter? does no one care about how much this country has screwed this world?
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[31 May 2006|02:22pm] |
a.euro hist ap, palmer
b.physics ap, bowen
c.gym
d.english ap, shaw
e.graphic design, silk
f.psych ap, whittemore
g.calc h, stowe
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| i like girls that wear abercrombie and fitch |
[24 May 2006|07:53pm] |
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music |
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lyte funky ones |
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Its almost june. which means school is almost over. yesterday was my bday. im 17. i dont feel any older though. and i cant really believe im 17. it seems like 17 is so mature, ya know? like 17 should signify some sort of change in me. i mean, im almost an adult. i can almost legally vote, and join the army. crazy. so i got a digital vid camera from my rents which is tiny and pretty cool. got some cookies from marie and sam. very tasty cookies. got a whole bunch of stuff including bratz twister and floam from steph and elaina, and an amazing birthday card from kelly. i think my parents are going up to vermont or new hampshire friday and saturday. that'll be nice. i like a quiet house. my neighbors just cut down all their trees in their front yard. so now there are practically no trees in front or around either of our houses. it makes me sad. i mean ive always grown up with our houses having a good amount of trees and shade in our yards. if it were up to me neither of us wouldve cut the trees. i have that song "we shall overcome" stuck in my head now.
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